Finals are over with at Stanford, friends graduating this year just passed, and good things seem to be happening around me right now. I’m in a state of bliss which was all but forgotten for a while due to the amount of items stacked high on my table and the stress that it has put me through. After all has been said and done I’m taking on this summer and hoping to do a few things along the way. I decided that if I was going to make this summer epic at all I had to start writing down a list of things I wanted to get done, so that I could make sure to enjoy it to the fullest:

1.) Get a tan.
2.) Take a vacation – and not just one, at least two or three.
3.)  Make a trip back to Monterey and home again.
4.) Take the camera everywhere it can possibly go to record such information. Pictures are worth a gazillion words.
5.) Start a new project and complete it.
6.) Find time to catch up with old friends and make new ones.
7.)  Have at least one epic road trip.
8.)  Throw a party.
9.) Remember to have fun at all times.
10.) Repeat number nine continuously. <3

Obviously this list isn’t at all complete, but a rough draft doesn’t hurt. Here’s to having an amazing summer and hoping yours is too!

Last week I was already on Tuesday and wondering how the hell I was going to complete all my midterms that were due by Friday. I hadn’t studied and thought I wouldn’t do very well. After stressing about one in particular, because it was a subject I can’t stand, I decided to get it over with and not worry about it. Surprisingly, I pulled off a 94/100 and immediately thought I deserved a drink after all that worrying. Although I didn’t manage to get one due to other awesome plans, I was able to enjoy my weekend and be available to the possibility of having a great weekend. My weekend was fantastic! …Until I woke up today and realized I had roughly five (now four because I decided to waste half of today) days to complete a damn paper! It isn’t a very long paper being only seven pages, but when it is something I don’t want to write about and due when someone else wants it done, writing doesn’t seem to flow from my fingertips onto the keyboard as easily. Which is why I’m writing about the not wanting to do the damn paper instead of actually writing the paper. I already know which of you are going to laugh at me being lazy, but thankfully the above picture does not actually demonstrate how much I’ve written. I already have a rough outline written down on paper and pulling together articles I’m using for support. Anyway, eventually I’ll get my shit together and complete this by Thursday. Wish me luck, I’m going to need it!

Currently, I am knowingly putting off brainstorming for one of my papers, because I have no clue what I want to write it on. I always feel like when writing is forced it is always a harder task to get the deed completed. I have the next two days to decide on a topic, but for a subject I’m really not that interested it, of course I had to result to asking friends to help me brainstorm with me. I have a few suggestions and I suppose I could look into them, but what better way to procrastinate something I don’t want to do and with exercising my writing skills in an update!?

Yesterday I completed my first three quizzes/tests of the quarter. They were allowed to be taken online and had a timer of 30 minutes for each. And I am happy to announce that I actually aced all three! I was actually pretty surprised, because I sat there for a few questions pondering if I had actually got some of the answers right, but went with what I have learned in the past and stuck with my first answer. What I have learned though is that I pretty much got lucky with these three, because I had already known the material prior to taking the class. Knowing these were basically “introductory” chapters I need to crack down and start reading the material for the next three chapters, because shortly a midterm will be due and I don’t want to worry about that for sure.

Another thing I have to mention is that I still haven’t learned exactly how to study, because once again, I’ve never needed it. Amazingly, I really hate that about myself, because I feel like I should be and that everyone else is busy reading, note taking, repeating information repetitively, and whatever other tricks they have. Then here I am just sitting or reading through the lecture and going straight to tests. I guess I keep thinking that maybe I’ll surprise myself by failing a test or it is just the need to be constantly busy. So hopefully I find another way to approach the whole feeling very student-like while not getting much done or finding out ways to be more productive with my spare time of no studying.

Anyway, back to being lame at picking a topic and brainstorming for this damn paper.

**Excuse my love of run on sentences and fragments. Don’t judge me.

I sit down to start my homework today that I’ve been putting off, because everything else has got in my way and getting back into the groove of school is just not an easy task. And EVERY single possible thing that could have went wrong, went wrong. No, really. Let me break it down for you:

Laptop open and ready to have massive amounts of knowledge passing through it? Check. Printer hooked up to laptop to have thoughts printed and ready to brainstorm all over, because you like writing rather than letting your keystrokes do all the work? Check. Allergy pill taken to make you stop thinking about the fact that spring is stupid and makes you sneeze every time there is a breeze? Check. Steady flow of Bon Iver, Passion Pit, and Temper Trap coming through your earphones to get the flow going? Check.

Ok, I’m ready.

Print first set of notes which to write upon? Fail. Hm… Fix all settings you know of? Check. Print? Fail. Ok, hmm… all ink levels are high, printer is hooked up correctly, set up correctly, and ready? FAIL!?! What the? Ok I’ll write everything I guess even though my hand will probably fall off mid-lots-of-unnecessary-lecture-writing. So I go look for a pen, but do I have one? Apparently not. I’ve been so much of a non-student these days I have no writing materials, including the fact that half of my stuff is still packed up in who the hell knows where. I go ask someone nearby for a pen and what do you know? They have one. I get all situated again and the pen has no damn ink. Seriously. You can’t make this shit up. Homework fail. Enter… Sam’s sad face pondering what to do.

After all this, where am I? Showing my homework who’s boss of course…

…by sitting in my room with a grumpy face, articles in my Google Reader, and watching Netflix through the Xbox.

After three full days of getting things done around the house and settling in, I am completely exhausted. The first week of Spring Quarter at Stanford has come to an end and I’m already behind in the reading material for my classes. I find myself trying to make time to study and go over notes (if any) that I have taken. I thought I would be a lot more productive seeing as how I no longer have a full time job, but it almost feels as if I’m slowly slipping back into learning how it feels to be unemployed, at least part-time. The part-time job starts Monday and I’m looking forward to knowing I have a paycheck coming in that will allow me to at least enjoy some of my time out and about with the rest of the world. Most days, of course, will include finding cheaper things to do that keep me entertained. It sounds weird, but I’m looking at everything with a whole different perspective, because I never really noticed things around me or what I could do with my time. For the first day I found myself really exhausted and the next two I had plenty to do, but still felt bored. I am not a lazy person and I always have to be on the go. You can thank the L.A. girl in me. I’ll always be used to the hustle of the city. I have also been waking up every morning between 8:30 and 9 which is something I find completely ridiculous, especially because I’ve been staying up til odd hours. You would think this different lifestyle would cause me to sleep in. A friend of mine had mentioned that it was a sign of maturity and that the older I get the earlier I’ll rise. If that’s true then in the words of Peter Pan, I don’t ever want to grow up. Sleep is way too important to me and one of my favorite things to do! I’m sure I’ll fall back out of the cycle which was always 8 to 5, but until then I can only hope for more Z’s.

**Note to self: Study time must also result in being something I do during the day and not include playing on the Xbox for hours, watching movies, or surfing the interwebs. No, I must actually learn how to say no to all things that are fun for me and make sure I stay ahead of the game. How I will do this, I do not know yet, but I’m sure I’ll manage.

After a bunch of soul searching and trying to decide exactly what I want, one of my girl friends pointed out that I needed to make a decision and stick with it regarding work and school. I was giving myself too many options. She was completely right. I’ve been prolonging my definite decision since fall of last  year and I had basically already made my decision by January of this year, but didn’t really notice. I was unhappy with how things were falling into place in my life and that I was not focusing on the things that were most important to me. So after consulting my family, boyfriend, boss, and close friends about the things that had been going on in my life I finally did it.

I walked into my office yesterday to discuss my options prior to actually making a final decision. My boss had explained how my whole life I had been working and used to the order of things around me like having a job to go to in the morning, making money, and focusing on that before I went to school. He was right, because he knew I had to pay my way through school since I was 17 and working for this job since I was 19. He said that even though he would miss the employee that I am and everything I had done for the company, that I should focus on school and make sure I got what I needed out of life and to enjoy school life. I was very appreciative of his encouragement.

I gave my two weeks notice late this morning to my boss and as of March 31, 2010 I will be a full time student focusing on earning the rest of my degree. So here comes the “kind of” part… Of course I plan on looking for part-time work, because I couldn’t possibly just make no money. There is obviously minor luxuries like my cellphone and going out money that my parents aren’t exactly willing to pay for and it is definitely nice that you can do with your own money as you please. I am happy that I decided to make this decision in my life and look forward to what the next couple of years is going to bring to my plate. I’m also looking forward to the many doors that will be open after I finish.

**Side note: I get to enjoy funemployment for the first time ever! Woo hoo!

A few days ago the Executive Director for the company I work at, has released the freeze on the hiring process. Which basically means transfers to different offices, promotions, and new hires will be accepted again! For those of you that don’t know, I have been struggling with my current position, because it travels so much and I feel like I am not really going anywhere. Being able to challenge myself and take on new things is almost necessary in a company I am working for. To me it proves what sort of job I can do and leads me to bigger and better things constantly. I do have to admit one thing though… this job has great benefits and I always have the same amount of hours every week. I am salary and have been working in my department for three and a half years so it only seemed right to stay with the amount of time I have invested and the seniority I had achieved.

Now that the freeze has been released and I can start transferring, I feel like I am a little less stressed about finding different work in the Bay Area. The job I am transferring to is actually in another department which has room for growth and will provide me with multiple challenges on a daily basis. One thing I really miss doing is helping clients and having the satisfaction of knowing you helped that person with what they needed.

Right now what is important is a steady income, school, and getting everything done so I can accomplish more in my future. Either way, I’m so happy about this positive change and looking forward to concentrating on Stanford for the next quarter!

February is on its final day and I am already overwhelmed with March. Besides rain and very little sun, this month was filled with Valentine’s Day fun, interview prep, meeting up with old friends, checking an item off my 2010 list, and much more. Today I spent the day all to myself taking a trip to Starbucks, getting a much needed haircut (only cut off an inch, growing it out ), trip to the Apple Store, walked around downtown, treated myself to a great burger, and came home to do things around the house. I had dubbed Sunday as my “to-do” day and thought it was about time I got much needed things out of the way before a fresh start and a new month.

This past month I have done a lot of resume building, cover letter editing, and talking to people who are familiar with the industry I work in. I found all of the peer help to be pretty interesting and very much needed in my quest for another job. I know myself that I needed to build a few things before I started interviewing so that I would be prepared when questions were asked. Quick and knowledgeable answers are always a plus in the interview process and being prepared is something I have never done before. I felt it completely necessary this time around, because there are plenty of people out there who are unemployed that are looking for a job like me. The competition has been raised a bar and as you find yourself moving further up the ladder, you find the job market a little more cut throat (factoring in the crappy economy also). With me, it is a little more complicated than also just interviewing, because I also have to include what benefits are out there (dental, vision, and medical). After a few interviews this past week, I wait to hear back and see how I have done and whether or not I am moving on to the next round of the process.

School preparation for the start of a new quarter at Stanford is also under way and I’m not so stressed about that, so that is a great thing for me. Being able to focus on other things before school starts is beyond needed for adequate stress relief, because I know when that hits I’ll be drowning in papers. Already looking forward to spring break!

I’m so pleased that even though I came home a few days with migraines this month and things seemed to be moving too quickly for me at times, I was able to catch my breath and relax a few days. Hopefully March is as nice to me.

I keep coming back to this:

I always notice after a conversation on the phone with an old high school friend who I haven’t talked to in years, things always come up that I never realized about all the changes that have been going on in my life. Mainly with the different person that I have become. It is always a little surprising to hear about how things were in the past and what people are going through in their current life to make you stop and evaluate yours. I have been out of high school going on a couple years now, which may not be long to some, but very long to me. People are getting married, talking about starting families, and finishing up grad school or getting started on it. It always makes me wonder if this was the right path and if I should be choosing a different career. My move to the Bay Area has not been as easy as I thought it would be and I seem to be trying to piece back my life together after hitting a little bump in the road along the way. With girls I think it is a little different when you’re thinking about how much older you’re getting and how you still would like to eventually plan out the rest of your future career and including a personal life. Frustration seems to get the best of me these days with all of the constant falling behind when you’re trying to stay on top of things. I suppose this is where the “life is never easy and will always throw you curve balls”, comes into play. Continuing to work full time is something I never really planned on doing when I was setting out to medical school. I also had planned to go to medical school since I was fourteen. With all the technology around me and related work I can’t help but still wonder if the tech industry which I feel so comfortable in, is the route for me. I know I’m still young and I have a lot of my life ahead of me, but to me I don’t have all the time in the world. I’m hoping a little break to sit down and figure things out will help me think about what it is that I really want my outcome to be. So I’m crossing my fingers and hoping that whatever I choose it is the right one for me.

It is amazing to me how stressful and what a bummer this week started out with and seemed to have pretty much failed me, but I have decided that I can’t let this get me down. Even if things don’t seem to be going my way or looking up for me right now, I have a lot of other things to keep in mind.

I have interviews scheduled in February for jobs that I have applied to in the Bay Area. Preparing for those and hopefully gaining some that will temporarily make me an actual full-time college student. Not that I haven’t already been, but working full-time as well does not let you put everything you can into your school work. I have managed to keep up the good grades (A student!), but as classes are getting harder and I’m reaching the next pivotal point in my education I need to focus more. I know I can’t always be the girl who has never studied. (Photographic memory.) So I plan for my next quarter to be a full out process by keeping up with the reading, work, and important school events. I feel like I am beginning to sound redundant, but you can never remind yourself enough to stay focused on what you set out to do. I know that in the end this will all be worth it.

Having to keep my mind on school and partially on the future can sometimes make my twenties feel like I am planning for when I have the out of school life. Where I focus on my career and plan for the rest of my future. Yes, of course most of it is about that, but the only other thing that I should remind myself is to remember to have fun while I’m doing it. There is no way my twenties has to be all work and no play!

I decided to take some courses at the local community college which are based on a 10 week short semester length along with whatever I am registering for at Stanford in February. I am not sure if it is the lack of money at this community college with the poor economy, but I had the most horrible experience trying to do so. It is the first time this college-that-shall-not-be-named seems to be integrating online registration and looking up every course online. The UI also looked like my 5 year old cousin could have done a better job putting it all together. Besides that, I also went ahead and added some courses only to find out that I have been “waitlisted” before I am registered for that course which doesn’t make any sense to me. Apparently waitlisted does not mean what it normally means at a college. Typically to me, waitlisted would refer to being put on hold in the application process and not necessarily being accepted after the long wait. In this case, waitlisted means the class has already been filled, but you wait to see if anyone drops and you are given a position number to find out whether or not you will be added on to the class. Now I am confused as to whether or not I should even go ahead and buy the book or just drop the class instead. I suppose part of it is my fault for having registered to this school so late, because I would have been the first group to pick, but I still wasn’t sure if I had even wanted to take these classes.

So for now I’ll just say waitlists for classes are for sucks, college-that-shall-not-be-named.

We’re now two-thirds of the way done with January and the year is already flying by so fast! School starts soon for most people this week that are on semesters, while others are still in the middle of Winter quarter. The fact that I have been working non-stop and getting a lot of things done has been a big help to keep me occupied and not exactly notice the speed of time. Which can be both a good and bad thing if you look at it from two different angles. Either way, I have spent most of my January stressing out about current projects at work and wondering if what I am doing with school is right for me. I considered going a different route for a brief moment in time and I’m still on the fence about it. Hopefully within these next couple of weeks I can make life changing decisions that I’ll stick with or keep on track with the way I have already been going. I suppose most of my decisions are coming from the fact that I am obviously getting older and about two years away from twenty-five. To some people that are reading this, you’re probably saying… you’re worried about turning twenty-five? You’re still young. But it is not necessarily the age that is getting me worried, it is the thought that I should know by then exactly what I want to do. I suppose this is where the “quarter life crisis” comes into play. (A friend gave me this article she stumbled upon recently while she was going through hers. Read it here: Welcome to Your Quarter Life Crisis.) I am not sure when I decided this would be one of the main turning points in my life, but I suppose it is because I would have hoped after all this hard work, I’d know by now. It kind of makes me wonder, how many other confused 20-somethings are in the same boat as me right now?

I understand everything I read when it comes to the current status of the American economy and how hard it is for people to find jobs right now. The unemployment rate is extremely high and a lot of people are struggling to get by. Believe me, I understand that completely. Although, you don’t completely understand it until you are going through the same situation. I wouldn’t particularly consider myself one of the many in dire need of a job, but I also wouldn’t throw myself off of that list. I am supposed to start school again after winter break and finding a job in this economy is difficult. Not only are you now struggling to find a job like everyone else out there, but your skills might be almost the same as almost half of the people that are applying for the position. Selling yourself in this case is even more important so that you can secure that position.

Right now I am employed, but I am looking for a job that will not only pay me almost as much as I am making right now, but something that will allow me to comfortably go to school as well as pay rent, bills, and the necessities. My current job requires me to travel at least 25-50 percent of the year and that is something I am not going to be able to do while I go to school. It is also based in the Los Angeles area. So you can see exactly why I need to find something quickly.

So, currently I am faced with the fact that it is already December and school starts in January. I have always been the person companies have gone with after an interview, because of certain skills I have acquired, my work ethic, and the personality I present. When jobs are scarce and you are feeling worn out from all the looking you start to feel like it is never going to happen for you. After plenty of resumes, interviews, and company correspondence, I have finally took another step in the right direction and hopefully it is a good one. One of the top companies in the United States (and possibly the world) has decided to give me a security clearance check and a second interview. Basically it was explained to me that after the background check, which I am positive I’ll pass, there is a second interview with a hiring manager which is basically going to end positively as long as you had passed their security investigation. I can’t explain how this has lifted a major weight off of my shoulders. It helps me look forward to the future with optimism and also that I am definitely getting somewhere in my search even if it has taken longer than usual.

I went back and forth deciding whether or not I should write a “I’m thankful for…” post for Thanksgiving, but I wanted to be able to thank everyone and everything that has been there for me in many ways this year. With that said, I am thankful for:

• Friends and family – Most of my friends have particularly been here for me throughout my whole life, but recently I have run into old, but newly reacquainted friends who have made this year even more special. Being able to have someone to talk to and just have a good time with is always a plus. Family, specifically my brothers for brightening up the day when I looked like I was stressed after a long day of work and school.
• Acceptance to Stanford – I have been blessed with a brain and a photographic memory. The way I have shaped it and filled it with knowledge to apply to my school life still baffles me. I have honestly worked my butt off when it comes to school and achieving acceptance to Stanford is something I can say I am very thankful for. I am looking forward to what it will bring me in the future.
• This might be totally funny, but… Technology (specifically the Internet and computers) – The Internet is full of a lot of useful and useless information, but it is where the world is going. Almost everything you do today has been touched in some way by a computer. Not only does it spark my curiosity every single time I use it and make me love to be involved in the tech industry, but I use both the Internet and my computer on a daily basis. How could we ever possibly go back to the old research methods or ways we accessed information? Technology is only getting better.
• My spontaneity and life – My life has never been led boring or simple. Even though I grew up in a middle class family and we didn’t really have much, I never let that stop me. I have always been pushing to go where I want to go in life. Feeding off of those that tell me I couldn’t do it and making sure I did it anyway. I love being able to spontaneously decide where I want to go and what I want to do every single day of my life.
• And a few things that don’t need any explanation: a place to rest my head, my animals, photography, the ocean, the written word, and the capability to love.

This list could have been much longer and never ending, because I am thankful for a lot of things, but maybe this list will inspire you to write your own. Happy Thanksgiving!

I really can’t believe we’re already in the fall and a few weeks have already went into October! The fall months normally mean a lot of busy times for me, because three members of my immediate family, and I celebrate our birthdays in October and November. Lately I have been busy with a lot of personal things which vary from looking for a new job, leaving my current job, get packing done for officially moving everything out of my parent’s place, helping plan my mom’s birthday party, school, etc. I probably shouldn’t be keeping this busy, but with the amount of things I have to do, it is impossible to do anything different.

My current job has already been informed of my departure and is very supportive of the new opportunities in my life that I have decided to embrace. That being looking for a new job , school coming first, and going on interviews when necessary. Making my complete move into the Bay Area which has obviously taken some time has been held back mostly by my current job which is based in Los Angeles and Sacramento. I have decided that looking for a new job where I can branch out and focus all my time in the Bay Area will help me out when it comes to school and the future. I guess you can say I have already made up my mind about making San Francisco my permanent residence, but I’ll always miss Los Angeles in ways that can’t ever be explained to a SF inhabitant.

Planning ahead for the end of October and all of November comes with its problems. Specifically because my Mom and I both have our birthday in October (24th and 29th) and Halloween is also almost in the same week. Then AK and my Dad have their birthday in November (12th and 23rd). Among birthday cakes, parties, and family get together time, I have to squeeze in time to myself to keep focus on school and personal things. Not to mention that I will need to make sure that I am ready to leave for Thanksgiving when it comes around. Plane tickets are already being considered, so hopefully I will be able to set a date and make a purchase this week. I have already designated days that are considered “homework” days which give me a lot of room and time so that I know what needs to be done and when it needs to be done by. Finals are right around the corner as well, so I will be taking time to study which I doubt I will need, because the information has been seeping into my brain better than I had hoped for. I have to love that photographic memory of mine.

I hope October doesn’t leave me in the dust after the all the plans are done, but there is always catching up in November!

For those that don’t know me, I grew up in a middle class area of Southern California living in both Orange and Los Angeles County. Ever since I can remember, both of my parents have worked full time jobs to support the three of us and themselves. When it came to school, it was either scholarships or working to pay everything on your own. According to financial aid my parents make too much money to qualify and scholarships only cover so much. So as you all know I have been working full time as well as going to school full time. Which has not been an easy task to come by at all. I can tell as I’m stepping closer to medical school and getting ready to completely give everything to it, I have decided that I need to put school first before the career that I have now. Recently I took the time to sit down with my Mom to discuss school and where everything is going. I expressed to her that I was basically stressed out having to work a full time job and concentrate on school. That I wish I was able to work a part-time job and go to school, so I asked if she would be willing to pay half of my rent. She agreed with me and decided to pay half of my rent as long as I stayed in school full time. You wouldn’t believe how ecstatic I was when I realized I would be able to FINALLY take a little stress off of my shoulders by having more time to study and get homework done.

My current job does not support part-time work, so I am now on a new job search. I have sent out applications, heard back from various places, and I am going on interviews soon to explain what I can offer companies and see what they can also offer me. I am kind of nervous seeing as how I haven’t been on a job interview in about three years, but I have become comfortable being exposed to different workplaces and people while I experienced traveling to different offices with my current job. I feel like this has helped me grow as a person in the business world and an interview should probably come easy to me once I am sitting in the room answering questions and selling myself. All I hope is that this process decides to fall together with ease, because I am looking forward to be able to take more classes during the day and getting a move on with everything I need to do to reach my end goal.

Procrastination has won. I seemed to have been caught up with most of my homework and the things I needed to get done to keep everything stress free, but I spoke way too soon. I have already noted to myself that having a full time job puts strain on the studying process. It starts getting worse when I find myself getting ready to travel for work or when the rest of the department is getting ready to. It is my responsibility to have certain work done before a deadline and the amount of time it needs to be done in can sometimes be overwhelming. Which means that when I get home I am usually not in the mood for any studying, because all I want is down time. And on the weekends, I of course want to maintain my social life as well as get personal errands done, work around the house, or go to family events. I have decided that is time to break open the Google Calendar (which is also synced with iCal on my Mac and my iPhone). I have not been using it, because I have so many other things going on, but that is the key that I am missing in this struggle for time and organization. I seem to forget what things I need to do until the last minute so putting the things that are important on a schedule seems like the best idea at this point in time. If I will continue to follow through with it is a whole other issue. I’ll let you know how that turns out. In the meantime, here’s to the rest of the quarter and more updates to come!

A few weeks of classes have went by already and my first couple of tests/quizzes have already been turned in. So far I have received an A on all of them which is great! I have never been this good at keeping up with my homework or staying on schedule, but maybe it was all the procrastination stress I had learned from in the past. The stress seems to be a bit minimized when it comes to keeping up this quarter, but I would still like to find better ways to keep myself organized to stay on track. The main subject I would like to keep up with is my math course, because once you are behind in math it is hard to catch up again.

The thing that I am most surprised about this quarter is that most classes are half online and half taken in a classroom setting. (CK [brother] is not happy about this at all, because he hates online classes.) They are referred to as “hybrid courses” where you basically do homework and tests online which allow the professor to correct a minimal amount of work and more than likely saves the school money. These tests are timed and are based on the material you have just learned in class. Although my math class is completely online which means that I have to learn the material myself with aides such as lectures on CD or reading my book. Most people are impressed with the fact that I can take any class online, but most of them don’t understand how I can take a math class online at all. Believe me, it is no joke. As I had mentioned before, making sure you are keeping up with the material is the hardest part. Teaching yourself proves itself to be more difficult, because there is really no one there to help you understand it. The lectures are a great help, because it is actually someone writing it all out for you on a whiteboard going step by step with each problem, but I find personal interaction is better. At least he Math and Science Center at the school where I take proctored exams at the end of each module, has tutors available for free.

Other than school, I hope to find out soon about what the possibility is of me getting laid off in my department or what my job is going to do about budget cuts. I am one of two who works in my position and the other person only has nine months of service, as I have three years. Apparently this has happened numerous times at work when money gets tight, but they never actually layoff anyone. I can only keep my fingers crossed, not get too far ahead of myself, and hope for the best.

So school has started and two weeks have successfully flown by without leaving any room for me to breathe. (I am pretty lucky that I have been able to have any sort of time to socialize.) I have been running around most of the time, but getting a lot of things done with a minimal amount of stress. I managed to buy all but one textbook for my classes, but plan to get that done tomorrow. I sat in on a lecture for a math class, but decided the best thing to do with my full time work schedule, as well as a full load of classes, was to take an independent course. Which basically means you teach yourself the material, complete homework online, and take exams in the Student Math Science Center. It takes a lot of self control to actually complete a class this way, because you have to determine when you do your work before the end of the quarter smacks you in the face with due dates. I have learned to pace myself from future experiences so that I am not stressing about it come final exam time. I will also be enlisting some of my nerdy math friends to help me learn the material if I find myself stuck.

In other news, my MacBook Pro has decided it does not like me. Seriously, I can’t think of any other reason why it has failed me multiple times since my purchase (thank you AppleCare warranty). I have taken it in more times than I ever did my last Macbook. This time I went to install Snow Leopard onto the MBP and it decided it didn’t want to take the disc. Trying one more time it sucked the disc in, started the install, and twenty minutes into it, it spit the disc back out. Leaving the disc with an array of lovely markings making it unreadable. I am extremely frustrated, because I was just in about a week and a half ago for a display problem which was never fixed due to the fact that Apple’s Genius Bar does not allow you to fix it unless you can reproduce the problem. Me being an avid computer user who hates being away from it at any length of time due to work and school, I have no reason to make up problems with my MBP. So, I am off to the Genius Bar for another appointment where I know this time I better get a new Snow Leopard disc and my drive will hopefully be fixed as soon as possible or I have no clue what I am going to do. A laptop with the amount of classes I have is crucial and I don’t expect ALK (little brother) to let me borrow my old MacBook forever.

Two updates in two days after a long disappearance you might be asking yourself? Yes, I had some extra time and if I keep on top of my homework like I have been I will hopefully find myself doing more updates than I have been, but I really doubt it. Wish me luck!

I haven’t been able to update again with my crazy life going by faster than I can keep up with, but I have managed to create a few site specific browsers (SSB) with Fluid that includes my blog. Hopefully this will help me with the amount of browsers and tabs I always have open on my laptop. For those of you that haven’t used Fluid, it is a simple way to create the normal everyday sites you go on. I have one for Facebook, Gmail, Google Docs, Google Reader, and now WordPress. I plan to create more when I get to it, but I have to get around to creating an icon for all of them.

Lately I’ve been really stressed about finding a job in the Bay Area. I have my current job and I have been there for three years, but I am not able to stay where I want and work. With the current job freezes due to the economy turning to complete shit I have found myself not able to transfer to a different office. (The closest offices would be San Francisco, Oakland, or San Jose.) So, I have set out with applying to different places. I have a total of twelve applications floating around in the mail right now into the hands of hopefully my next job if I am lucky. It makes me nervous knowing that I will be waiting for a call back, because I know that I need this move. Interviewing is never a problem for me, because I have had a lot of jobs before this one that prepared me for all the questions you could ever think of. I just want to be considered as the candidate for the next step in my life. Many of you might wonder why I am even applying to work, but student loans only go so far and I need to be able to pay bills and rent. I am not one of those lucky people able to only go to school, but I make it work when I need to.

School is starting in a few weeks and I am most comfortable about that right now, because at least that won’t throw as many curve balls. I know what to expect and this is just an event that I have had too much experience with. I do wish for ease with my first quarter at Stanford though when it comes to keeping my academics up and working full time. With determination and a lot of schedule organizing, I will get through it. Wish me luck!

I can’t speak for everyone, but I do know that I love living in California because of my access to the vast amount of great beaches. I could never move from this state, because the separation between the city and ocean is really not that far and the weather is amazing. The Bay Area is almost completely surrounded by water and if I go back down to Southern California, Orange County has some of the best beaches I’ve ever surfed at. I can remember getting up early on Saturday mornings to wander on down to Huntington Beach and stay until sunset. The Laguna Beach area is actually my favorite, because it has coves for you to explore and a private beach that I love to walk on. The smell of the ocean mist alone is enough for me to be happy with where I am at. No matter how many times I have went to the beach, I never grow tired of it. It has always been the one thing that I can come back to when I need to relax and enjoy my time. That is why lately the beach has been my location these past couple of weeks. It isn’t because the weather is absolutely gorgeous and it is the summer, but walking and listening to the ocean is where I can be at peace. I can sit for hours with my own thoughts or hang out with a friend and enjoy taking in the scenery.

I have found myself thinking a lot about Stanford lately and where my life is taking me. The amount of time it is going to take to complete medical school is overwhelming. The thoughts about financial aid, student loans, study time, and working has added to the amount of stress that is called life. Preparation to transfer into a new school is difficult and it never comes easy for anyone. I have wondered if Stanford was the right choice for me or if I do belong in Los Angeles at UCLA, but I think it might just be me worrying about the sudden change. The move from the Los Angeles area to Burlingame to attend Stanford is obviously one of the biggest decisions I’ve ever had to make in my life. Who was I going to know here? I was leaving all of my friends and family behind and starting fresh. So trips back and forth between Los Angeles and the Bay Area always make me miss home. Then I remember how hard I have worked to get to where I am today. The hours of making sure my papers were right. Is this a clear thesis? Does the MLA formatting look correct? Is your argument backed up by enough evidence?

This makes me find myself at the beach with my thought process. Being able to clear my head and push all of the stress off of my shoulders helps. I already know that you should not expect life to come with ease, but I wasn’t expecting to feel the amount of added pressure so suddenly. Your life does not pause for you and it is always a constant uphill battle to get to the specific goals you want to achieve. Even though I seem to be coming back to this same subject frequently, I know a small break and releasing pressure is what is necessary to keep myself from going insane with stress. The amount of time and effort I have put into Stanford and my studies in general make me happy to know that this will all be worth it in the end. It may seem like a set back, but it is another one of those stepping stones I need to reach my end result. To those of you in my personal life, if I’ve been very busy lately or hard to get a hold of, you might want to check out one of your local beaches. I might be sitting there on the sand trying to relax. Feel free to join me.

I think May burned me out, because I haven’t had any motivation to do much of anything this week, but I have pushed myself through it. So I’m taking a deep breath before I get started on this post, because May was a very bumpy ride for me and it is already the middle of June! Time has been flying by and refusing to give me a few seconds to catch up.

I have made the decision to change a few things in my life which deal with work and school. The amount of focus and time I am supposed to be giving on both is sometimes hard when you have your own personal things going on. I was not feeling the fire being lit from beneath me for a while, but having people around you that support you and congratulate your achievements is a big plus. I decided to organize my time more efficiently as well as gain a study/work partner to get through all those hours of procrastination. For some reason having another person along side me that is also focusing helps the motivation process. I have amazed myself at how much I have been getting done and how much less frequently I become stressed by the end of the week when deadlines are approaching. Moving from programming to marketing and public relations was a big step. It was also a very big promotion that I was ready for at this stage in my life. Being able to work directly with bands and help them get where they want to be is such an amazing experience for me at this point in my life. I know I am going to school to be a doctor, but you never know if I might actually step into the music industry permanently if things keep moving as well as they are.

My scholarship papers have been going pretty well. If medical school ends up being the decided option for me then I will have to find out ways to pay for it rather than out of my own pocket. I have won two so far this year and am continuing to hear back for a certain amount as well as receiving invitations to apply to different colleges, but I still think I am going to stick with Stanford. It has so much to offer and the programs are amazing. I am attending there this summer which starts on the 23rd as well as another college that I have been completing online classes for. I know I am a busy girl, but knowing I am going places is making everything worth it.

Beyond work and school I am making sure to take weekly breaks to enjoy my time hanging out with friends and going on our small adventures. Specifically baseball games, meeting up for drinks, vacations, catching up with friends from high school, surfing, dancing, and hanging out by the ocean (my favorite). The year is halfway through and I have gone through so much these past six months, but I am finding myself happy with the person I have become and looking forward to the person I am still to become. Either way, wish me luck and I hope to keep you updated!

I know this is coming a few days late, but it is only the beginning of May and I needed to look back for a bit. I am not exactly sure where all my time disappears to, but it has to go somewhere, so I think these recaps are not only a nice thing to keep my readers updated, but also a good reminder to myself of all that I have been doing.

I have dubbed April as my travel and catch up month. Of course, the end of March was my trip to Vegas which rolled into some more traveling in April, but I have been to San Diego and stayed in San Mateo County for work assignments as you may have read previously. My work life has been keeping me busy and bestowing me with experiences that I need to challenge myself. I am constantly presented with new tasks and I feel like I am getting the job done well. Working for the State of California has given me the managerial skills that are rare to find at my age. I love the amount of responsibility that is attached to both jobs and the positions that I have acquired. While most of my peers are graduating from college and setting out on their specific field, I have been working and going to college at the same time. I feel like this might give me a little more heads up when I am done with medical school, because I will have had the work experience that some do not right out of college.

In other news, Stanford seems to be coming up sooner than I expected. I have been visiting it occasionally and making sure I still want to go there. I know this is a little strange, but visiting the campus makes everything a reality and helps me appreciate it more. I have honestly worked my butt off to get here and going on a full scholarship is more than I could have hoped for. I am still continuing to write essays for more scholarships in hopes that medical school will be paid for completely. I know this is a longshot, but a girl can hope for the best!

I really hope that May decides to give me some sort of break pretty soon, because this girl is tired. Maybe there is a short weekend vacation in the works? We will see.

**Question: Am I still a Bruin if I transferred from UCLA to Stanford?

This week I have been working in San Mateo County (specifically Redwood City, San Mateo, and Burlingame) on one of my typical job assignments. I was actually really excited to be here, because I would be home for the whole week without having to go anywhere else. I have been going back and forth between the Bay Area to get ready for my start at Stanford in the fall and I am REALLY looking forward to it! Experiencing new things always makes me nervous, but so excited at the same time.

This time, I found myself actually familiarizing myself with San Mateo County which I haven’t really done before. Some might think that it is not so exciting getting to know the new place you will be living, but it has actually been a new adventure for me every single day. I am always discovering new places and trying them out to find out exactly what I like. I am so happy that nothing has disappointed me so far about the area, because this is where I plan to spend the next couple of years for medical school. The only thing that has bothered me is the commute into Redwood City. It gets a little packed around 92 and 101 as people are transitioning between each freeway. The commute that I will be doing from Burlingame (where my apartment is) to Stanford might be a drag, but I am looking forward to the new beginning there, that I really don’t mind as much as I would have in LA. And it is nowhere near the amount of traffic there is going anywhere in LA. I also find it to be very laid back compared to LA which is a very nice change of scenery for me.

Overall, I am very happy that it is finally feeling like home to me already. I’ll update you as soon as possible on the rest of my progress in school and life in general as soon as I can. I’ve been very bad about blogging which I should have included in my New Year’s Resolutions, but better late then never, so I’ll add that to my list right now. For now, I allow you to blame my busy life!

Ok I lied. I promised myself I would write more, but it seems like this past week I found myself with more work than I could manage. On top of the fact that I got sick with the worst fever I’ve ever had. I blame the fever and procrastination on myself, because of the amount of time I spend doing other things when I should be getting more sleep at night and focusing on work. I have so much homework to catch up on it is ridiculous. I am actually staring at the list of Spanish that is due tomorrow before the end of the day. I will more than likely be cramming it all in after the work day is over. After pondering this all for a few days I have decided to set myself up with three important rules I should start following more often – especially with the MCAT coming up sooner than expected.

1.) Pick a work/study area. This will help me get into the studying “mood” and tell myself that I mean business. My favorite studying area is my desk at home which I have to clean off before I start working on anything. Too much clutter annoys me when I am trying to place my laptop, books, or paperwork near me for easy access. I also like some sort of noise depending on what I am doing, so I tend to have a Skype call going with a friend on the other end who is also working. Trust me, it really helps when someone else is in the same working mood.

2.) Set a schedule. To designate a specific amount of time a day to concentrate on my work for every day of the week. I constantly find myself getting preoccupied with things that I shouldn’t be doing when I know I should be working/studying. If I actually go through and look at my Google calendar I have nothing on it and that is probably why I am so bad when it comes to remembering things I need to do until the last minute. The less I procrastinate the better I am when it comes to taking a test or the quality of my work.

3.) Get more sleep. I know you are probably laughing about this one, but sleeping is a necessity. The less I sleep the more lazy I am and the more inclined I am to lay on my bed and ignore all my work. Which results in a few hours of television and absolutely nothing crossed of my to-do list.

These are all my own personal opinions on how I need to organize and manage my time, but I will let you know how everything is going on down the road. This leaves me wondering, what do you do when you need to get yourself in the working/studying mood? Loud music, food, drinks, cleaning your space? If you have any suggestions feel free to leave me some. I’m always looking for improvements in this area.